


Thor Versus the Deadly Midguardian Beast

by StarblazeAndSolaris



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bonus!JARVIS, Bonus!Tony, Ficlet, Gen, Humor, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3138602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarblazeAndSolaris/pseuds/StarblazeAndSolaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor has encountered a deadly creature in his rooms, which has attempted to murder him with the coward's weapon: poison!</p><p>Now with bonus!Tony scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thor Versus the Deadly Midguardian Beast

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is in response to this prompt:
> 
> So, extrapolating from the Bilchsteig conversation - they have some animals in Asgard they do not in Midgard, and vice versa. Thor is accustomed to large, trampling monsters...so big cats, rhinos, and hippos don't frighten him. 
> 
> But spiders/moths/snakes/lobsters/house cats? HOLY CRAP. Not cool at all. 
> 
> His teammates struggle with trying to be supportive and being thoroughly amused (until Thor tries to use Mjolnir to kill a spider, or something)
> 
> Pairings can include Steve/Thor or Clint/Thor, if you are so inclined, but OP is happy with gen.
> 
> Author would like to say that this was written quickly, and late at night, and right before mocks, and I am British, not American, so I cannot Americanise things. (If you are American and/or know how they use words over there, please correct me!)

It was a perfect late spring morning, and all was well in Avenger’s Tower. The sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, the god was shouting – wait, what?  
Natasha cracked open a single eye to glance around the living room. Apart from herself, curled in a broad strip of sunlight on the couch, there was nobody else around, but from the sound of it someone was working up to a truly explosive temper tantrum. Living in a house of superheroes was certainly never dull.  
The Black Widow uncurled, stretched like a cat and flicked a tiny dagger into her hand before stepping lightly from the room in search of the trouble.

*

Trouble, apparently, was in Thor’s room, and did not require the use of a blade.  
“Hear me foul beast!" Thor ordered, somehow majestic even in a plaid shirt and slacks. When Natasha knocked on his door to alert him to her presence, he explained without further prompting. "Lady Natasha, this treacherous creature with its deathly tail has endeavoured to poison me! Hark, monster, for your attempt at my life I will end you and all your line!”  
The wasp buzzed idly on the far wall, apparently unaware of the deity whose wrath it had incurred. Natasha shook her head and removed a slipper (rendered necessary by Tony’s habit of sciencing everywhere, and leaving the spare parts of his engineering work wherever he happened to drop them).  
“I have this, Thor,” she told him with a hint of a smile, stepping forward.  
“Lady Widow,” he cautioned, putting out an arm to partially block her way, “beware. It carries a deadly venom, and has already endangered me with its bite! Observe!”  
The arm in front of her tilted to reveal a wasp sting, swollen to the size of a 50 cent piece and shiny pink against the gold of the his undamaged skin. It takes her a moment, but Natasha’s lips pucker in a tiny moue of sympathy – it does look rather irritating, for such a small wasp sting. Thor looks momentarily delighted, remembering the long early months when such responses had been rare or non-existent, before returning his gaze to the threatening monster.  
Thor hefted Mjolnir, and the wings of the wasp quivered with the motions of the air it caused. Before Natasha could speak to stop him, Thor threw his weapon, which spun lazily in the air until the head of the hammer collided with the wasp – and the wall around it. A mighty crash resounded through the hallways as Mjolnir punched a hole through the partition like it was paper, and Natasha could do nothing but laugh.

*

Down in his workshop, Tony Stark heard the faintest echo of a crash in the lull between songs.  
“JARVIS?” he called, “Pause music. What the hell was that? And do I need to dress up to deal with it?”  
JARVIS, ever calm and helpful, addressed the important issues first.  
“I do not believe the suit will be required, Sir. The crashing sound was made when Prince Odinson killed a wasp, with a little assistance from Ms Romanov.”  
Tony raised a sarcastic eyebrow.  
“Well, bring back the music, J, we’ll leave them to their fun. Oh, and note: don’t introduce Thor to mozzies.”


End file.
